


Broken Roses

by ninjaNinj



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nana, Chrollo as Nana O, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fem!Chrollo, Fem!Killua, Kurapika as Nana K but not ooc, Multi, Rock Bands, Slow Burn, eventual femslash, fem!Kurapika, slight crack, there will be lots of pikagon and illupika and kurofei first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjaNinj/pseuds/ninjaNinj
Summary: Kurapika is a high strung, hot-headed, preppy girl on her way to start a new life.  Chrollo is an independent punk singer on her way to chase her dreams of becoming a professional.  When these two unlikely personalities meet, they discover they have more in common than they ever could have imagined.





	1. First Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, thank you for clicking on this. I got this idea after I looked at some genderbent art of KuroKura that reminded me a lot of Nana. So, I decided to combine two of my favorite animes into this fic. The story will follow pretty closely to the Nana story for at least the first few chapters before it inevitably branches off. Don't worry, you don't need to have watched Nana to know what's going on. I wanted to explore some new dynamics and pairings with this story, things that I haven't seen done yet on this website. The angstier, stoic, hardened Kurapika will come later, after she goes through some shit. Right now we are channeling Kurapika's younger canon self as you can read about in his backstory in the manga. What that means is the characterization of Kurapika is more excited about the world and naive, with even less of a control on his temper-- for now, anyway.
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter. :)

 

_Hey, Chrollo.  Do you remember the first time we met?  I’ve never really trusted in fate before, but after all that’s happened, I’m starting to think our encounter couldn’t have been caused by anything else.  It’s okay if you laugh at me for that._

 

* * *

 

Looking back on it now, Kurapika basically had just ran away from home, nothing more than a note left on her door for her parents to find later.  She thinks they won’t miss her too much, she’ll only be a two hour train ride away.  Maybe they can relax a little bit with one less mouth to feed.

 

Right after she had received the text from Gon she felt a new rush of warmth and excitement that she hasn’t felt in a long time.  As a child, she was never able to leave her small Kurta town, and has been dying to get out for years.  She’s been waiting for this day for so long, to finally explore and live in a new place.  She had put on a cute dress underneath her big winter coat, and took only her bag with her as she left her house.

 

The walk to the train station was cold and snowy, but Kurapika didn’t care.  The world’s biggest city, only a two hour train ride away, is well worth the drudgery.  

 

Now however, as she boards the train, she is taken aback by the amount of people on it.  Where to sit where to sit… She passes the only seat without a human already inside it, but it is filled nonetheless by a covered guitar that sits next to a dark haired sleeping girl with headphones in.

 

Kurapika really should just move this girl’s guitar case out of the way.  On such a packed train, it is inconsiderate to take up entire free seats with your personal belongings.  However, it would also be less than couth to move the guitar without asking first, so Kurapika tries to get her attention before she resorts to touching another person's things.

 

“Excuse me,” she says, but the girl is unresponsive.  She tries again, reaching forward to gently tap the girl’s shoulder.  

 

“Excuse me miss… ah!”  

 

As she leans over the train jolts to a stop, knocking her off of her feet and straight into the girl’s lap, the guitar falling on its side on top of her.  

 

The girl finally awakens with the shock of Kurapika’s body weight falling on her.  She directs all her attention to Kurapika, making a small gasp escape Kurapika’s lips.

 

_What a beautiful person!_

 

Her jet black hair is falling just above her shoulders, with an interesting inverted cross tattoo on her forehead.  Her big dark eyes are surrounded by thick lashes and smokey eye shadow, widely staring at Kurapika with concern.  Her lips are ruby red, plump and shiny, and she’s got these big teal orb earrings hanging from her ears, framing her face.  She’s skinny, wearing a choker and leather jacket, accompanied by a skirt and fishnets, down to her mid-calf leather boots, creating an entire punk-rock look.  She looks like she could be famous, or at least a model, for sure.   

 

“Are you okay?” She asks more than once with a grip on Kurapika’s arms, and Kurapika blinks as she registers the words before jumping upwards off the woman’s lap and blushing furiously, smoothing out her dress.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. I apologize!” Kurapika tries to compose herself.

 

“No, I should be saying sorry.  You were hit by this, right?”  The girl points to her guitar.

 

“Oh, no, that’s alright, I’m fine,” she says and starts to walk away embarrassedly before she remembers the reason she came over to the seat in the first place.  

 

“Actually,” she says coming back to the seats, pointing to the one with the guitar on it, “would it be alright if I sit here?”

 

The girl looks up, with a dazzling smile.  “Please, go ahead.”

 

As Kurapika sits down the girl pulls out a cigarette, lighting it.  This girl’s aura is so unique, and calm, and dark.  She was so different from any other person Kurapika knew.  Is this what everyone in big cities were like?  The thought excites the aboriginal, small-village Kurta.  The girl has a designer studded chain accessory on her skirt-- something Kurapika had always wanted-- wow, she is really cool.  As she watches the smoke leave the girl’s lips in a cloud, she can’t help but stare, star struck.  

 

The girl, noticing Kurapika’s wide eyes in her direction, pauses.  “Sorry, is my smoking bothering you?”

 

Kurapika blushes, waving her hands.  “No, not at all, don’t worry.”  She looks away from the girl next to her, forcing herself to calm down.

 

After a moment of silence the girl speaks.  “It’s not moving.”  Kurapika looks towards her again.  “The train.  We’ve been in one place for awhile,” she says, looking out her window seat.

 

“Ah, really?”  Kurapika clicks her teeth as she glances out the window to see that what the girl says is indeed true.  They’re stopped, the snow flurrying downwards intensely, covering the train tracks completely.  Kurapika is in a hurry, and has no time for delays on this train.  After all, Gon is waiting for her and she doesn’t want to cause him any trouble.  She pulls out her phone to send a message to her boyfriend.

 

As her fingers fly across the keys, the girl next to her gapes.  “Nice phone!”  She interjects.  “Although I guess all the high school girls have the newest phones now, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

 

At that Kurapika narrows her eyes, and whips her head to look at this lady who just called her a 'high school girl'.  “I’ll have you know I turn twenty today, thank you very much.” Her birthday is the twenty-second of January, which also happens to be today. 

 

With a noise of surprise the girl starts laughing, further angering Kurapika until she speaks.  “Is that so?”  More laughs.  “Ah, sorry, I misjudged.  Turns out we are the same age, happy birthday!”

 

Kurapika doesn’t know why the girl found that fact so funny, but her laugh was too charming to stay as mad as she had been moments ago.  “Well, with the way you talk about ‘high school girls’ you sound about forty years old!”

 

This makes the girl laugh even more, until they hear an announcement come on the train’s speaker.  

 

_Attention passengers.  Due to heavy snow the train will be traveling at a much slower pace than expected.  We are sorry for any inconvenience._

 

Kurapika sighs, frustrated.  “At this rate, who knows when I’ll get to Tokyo?” she asks in exasperation.

 

To her surprise, the girl asks, “What are you going to do in Tokyo?”

 

“Well, I’m actually moving there.  I’ll be looking for a job when I get there.”

 

The other girl widens her eyes.  “How Interesting... I’ll be doing the same thing.”

 

Kurapika certainly did not expect that.  “Really?”  she asks, “I thought you were already from Tokyo, on your way back from a tour as a pro-musician.”

 

“Oh...” the girl says resigned, as if it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, as she reaches for another cigarette, “that’s curious,” she says cryptically.

 

“Aren’t you in a band though?” Kurapika presses, “I mean, you have a guitar with you.”

 

“I was… back in my home town.”

 

So she is a musician!  Amazing!  Kurapika loves music, and is getting increasingly more curious.  She wants to ask more, but is interrupted by her phone ringing.    


“Hello, this is Kurapika.  Oh, hi Gon!  Yeah, about that… I’m going to be late…  the train is backed up from snow.  Is that okay?  I wouldn’t mind taking a different train after by myself if… Oh, alright, thank you. I’ll see you soon.”

 

The girl next to Kurapika listens in on the phone call, amused at the bubbly, yet mature way Kurapika talks.  As if she’s trying to contain her excitement to be out in the world.  As the phone call ends, she asks Kurapika, “So, your boyfriend is from Tokyo?”

 

Kurapika’s blush was enough of a confirmation.  “What an adorable couple.  I see now, you’re moving to Tokyo to be with him,” she says, winking.

 

Kurapika immediately flashes.  “No, that’s not it!  I… well…” she doesn’t exactly have another reason cued up at the moment.  

 

The girl laughs, again.  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with a cute Tokyo guy.”

 

Kurapika felt the need to explain herself.  “He’s not really from Tokyo, actually.  We come from the same school in my small aboriginal town in the countryside.  However, to get into one of Tokyo’s bigger universities Gon went to Tokyo last year by himself.”

 

“Why didn’t you go with him?”

 

“Well, I wanted to, but he told me I should wait until I had more of a plan, and money to go.  That made me upset, because I’ve been trapped in that village my whole life and never had a chance to leave.  So I worked really hard to save up money, and studied, so that I could come to Tokyo all on my own once he got into university!  I’m also planning on applying to a university in Tokyo soon.”  With a deep breath, Kurapika blushes, realizing that she got carried away oversharing with a stranger.  “Wow, please forgive me.  I don’t know why I told you all of that.”

 

The girl laughs.  Why does she find everything Kurapika says so funny?  Kurapika was not trying to be funny.  “Don’t worry!” she says, “I love it.  Keep going!  We’ve got time anyway, this train is going nowhere fast.”

 

Kurapika blinks, unsure how to proceed.  She starts, carefully, saying what’s on her mind.  “Gon is a nice guy and a good boyfriend, but he can be a reckless, thick headed idiot sometimes,” she shakes her head.  The girl next to her snorts, interested in what Kurapika has to say.  Kurapika suddenly gets an idea.  If she was going to open up to this stranger she might as well drink some alcohol to soothe her awkwardness.  “Why don’t I get us both beers?” she asks the girl.  

 

“Alright, sure!” she accepts.

 

As Kurapika returns with the beverages the girl bats her long eyelashes and says, “Why don’t we have a toast?”

 

“What are we toasting for?”

 

“Let’s toast for us.  It’s not everyday you sit on the train next to someone headed to the same city, the same age as you.”  Kurapika nods, thinking.  “Oh, and by the way, my birthday is also today, Pika-chan.”

 

Kurapika lights up at hearing the new nickname said so endearingly by this cool girl.  So, it is both of their birthdays.  What are the odds?  As they clink beer cans, Kurapika tells the girl “Happy birthday!” before she takes a sip.  “By the way, I don’t believe I’ve gotten your name.”

 

“Chrollo Lucilfer.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Chrollo-san,” Kurapika says, being extra polite.  She even had a rockstar name--so cool!  Kurapika already knows she’s going to love living in Tokyo.  

 

Although she doesn’t consider herself to be the type to converse with strangers, something about the playful look in Chrollo’s eyes, glancing up from underneath her long, thick eyelashes, combined with her gorgeous, amused laugh whenever Kurapika told a story kept her talking, wanting to share more of her excitement with the mysterious, punk girl.

 

Chrollo giggles, amused at this small town girl using stiff, overly polite language as if she came from the royal family.  She enjoys teasing her in their short conversations, watching Kurapika flash and flush in anger before calming down.  Chrollo has already learned how to exploit Kurapika’s hot-headed nature for her entertainment.

 

Five hours pass, Chrollo hardly saying a word about herself and dodging Kurapika’s questions with more questions to learn about Kurapika’s life and values.  She’s a standard goody-two-shoes, with classic preppy clothes.  But this girl also comes with an incredibly petty side, stubborn, high strung and willing to do whatever it takes to reach her goals, even if that means resorting to risky measures.  How amazing it is that they could be so different, on the surface, brought together only by one long train ride and the same birthday.

 

All too soon though, it is over, when finally, they arrive. The passengers of the train gather their belongings and move from their seats towards the train’s exit.  

 

As soon as they step off, Kurapika’s running towards a man, eyes filled with the glow of this long-anticipated moment.  It must be her boyfriend.  Chrollo tries to remember his name.  Gon, wasn’t it?  He’s not too much taller than Chrollo herself, but his spiked up hair adds a few inches onto his overall height.  His face is bright, grinning from ear to ear at the smaller girl running towards him.

 

With a small, bittersweet smile Chrollo watches her for a brief moment, as Kurapika runs into his arms, his spiky head leaning down to rest on her shoulder.  The scene is a tender moment of reunion between lovers who’ve been long separated by distance.  It must be nice, to be together again.  She then turns from the intimate display of affection to walk the opposite way.  With her guitar slung over her shoulder, she pushes her thoughts from the bubbly blonde girl to finding her hotel for the evening.

 

_It was nice to meet you, Pika-Chan._

 

* * *

 

“Kurapika!  Oh, happy birthday!  It’s so great to see you,”  Gon says, pulling back to smile at his girlfriend.  

 

Kurapika smiles back up at her lover.  “You too, Gon.  Thank you for coming to pick me up, even though the train arrived much later than expected.”

 

“Are you kidding?” he ruffles Kurapika’s shoulder-length blonde hair.  “It was nothing.  I wouldn’t miss your return for anything.”  Kurapika’s heart warms, looking into Gon’s honey brown eyes.  “How did that long train ride end up going, anyway?”

 

“Actually, it was great!  I sat next to...” Kurapika suddenly looks around, searching for Chrollo.  She would like to introduce her to Gon--it would only be polite after she had talked about him to her.  Kurapika furrows her brow as she sees nothing but unfamiliar faces in the crowd behind her.  She sighs, realizing Chrollo must have already left.  “Huh.  I guess she’s gone.”

 

Gon looks confused at Kurapika’s frantic movements.  “Who?” he grabs Kurapika’s shoulders after a moment and turns her to face him.  “Anyway, let’s go!  Canary and Pairo are waiting for us!”  he picks up Kurapika’s bags and waves his hand for her to follow him.  

 

Kurapika follows, refocusing her thoughts on the present, and away from Chrollo, excited to see her friends after a whole year apart.  After all, the punk-girl was just a stranger on the train that shared her birthday, and they were unlikely to ever meet again.

 

_It was nice to meet you, Chrollo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed! This was kind of a daring, sort of out-there fanfic (in my opinion) for me to start writing. Of course, instead of studying for finals or finishing chapter 6 of my other fic I made this. Woo! Please leave a comment if you liked it/hated it and/or would be interested in reading more-- I might just leave it as a one shot for a good minute (while i finish my other fic heh).
> 
> Overall it was great to write, Nana is such a fun show-- I wish there was more of it to watch, but it got put on hiatus long ago just like another anime we all love *cough* hxh *cough*


	2. The Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never dreamed I would meet once more
> 
> the girl with whom I share a birthday…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back for chapter two of this fic! I think about this AU almost every day, and after rewatching Nana I'm really motivated to write it. I changed the title though, since I didn't like the old one. Please enjoy :)

 

“Canary!  Pairo!” Kurapika squeals the second she meets the familiar brown eyes and glowing smiles of her long-time friends.  

 

“You finally made it!  Happy birthday Kurapika!” Enveloped by the two in a warm group hug, she feels more at home than when she left her house six hours ago.  Not about to miss out on the moment, Gon slams on to the hug behind her.  

 

“Oi!  I can’t breathe, you’re crushing me,” she chokes out after the hug becomes too tight.

 

“Oh! Heh, sorry Kurapika.  I guess I’m just really happy we’re all together again!” Gon says, pulling away and sheepishly scratching his neck.  A laugh is shared as the four pull apart.

 

“The train came so late,” Kurapika says as she looks at Canary, “I didn’t expect you all to still be waiting for me.  You must be freezing!”

 

Canary chuckles slightly.  “It’s been cold, but manageable.  We weren’t about to miss seeing our Kurapika again.  Why don’t we go somewhere for your big day?”

 

“Okay, but isn’t everything closed? It’s after midnight,” Kurapika asks.

 

Pairo ruffles Kurapika’s hair before he teases, “How cute, she’s still a country bumpkin,” to which she frowns. “Lots of places are open late here--you’re in the big city now.  Come on, let’s go to Jackson’s!”

 

“Excuse you.  I am not some ‘country bumpkin’.  Tokyo’s not _that_ different,” Kurapika protests as she’s pulled along, gaining a few more laughs from her friends.  

 

“Don’t worry Kura, I’ll show you all there is to know about city life,” Gon says, grasping her hand and grinning cheekily.  Kurapika just shakes her head and laughs, because her friends are acting like the short time they’ve lived in Tokyo has granted them some magical new life skills she doesn’t understand yet.

 

Snow and cold air hit Kurapika like a brick as they step outside, but she’s too distracted by all the tall buildings and neon signs to care.  With wide sparkling eyes she takes in the view of the vibrant city before her.  “Wow, this place is amazing!”

 

There is another bright grin from Gon.  “Just wait until you see Jackson’s,” he says, “you’re going to love it.”

 

Canary and Pairo walk in front as they make a turn to an even brighter, livelier street.  They pass girls in maid costumes and foreigners promoting clubs with flyers in broken Japanese.  There are crowds of drunk, loud people conversing and stumbling out of bars into the busy streets.

 

“It’s so late, but there are so many people out.  I’ve never seen anything like it!  I guess what they say about Tokyo never sleeping is true after all,” Kurapika muses.

 

“Yeah, isn’t it great?” Gon says as they follow their friends down into a basement pub of a highrise.  “You’d never see anything like this back home.”  Kurapika nods and smiles at her boyfriend.  “And this place,” Gon continues as he pulls open the door for her, “is Jackson’s.  It’s our favorite Izakaya, and the burgers are great too.”  Gon grabs Kurapika’s hand and squeezes it.  “I’m really happy I can finally come here with you.”

 

Kurapika blushes at her boyfriend’s sweetness, the rush of being reunited after all the wait and frustration of the trip here almost bringing tears to her eyes.  Looking away from those big brown eyes she is led to a table for four, and the first round of drinks begins.  

 

“Ooh Kurapika they have cake! We have to get one for your birthday!” Pairo cheers as he scans the menu.  

 

“Yes, let’s get Kura-chan a cake!” Gon chimes in.  Canary nods her head in agreement to the plan.

 

Blushing, Kurapika concedes to her friends wishes.  “Excuse me,” Canary says, waving the waiter over, “could we get one of the lava cakes please?”

 

The waiter blinks.  “Wow, your Japanese is amazing! Where did you study?”

 

A simultaneous eye roll occurs between the friends.  This blatant patronization is still happening to Canary, even in an international city like Tokyo.  “She’s lived her whole life in Japan, so of course she has perfect Japanese.  You shouldn’t judge someone based on appearance,” Kurapika challenges the waiter, eyes narrowing.

 

“Yeah,” Gon adds, “she’s just as Japanese as you and I are.”  

 

“Oh-- I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to offend anyon--” the waiter tries to say before Canary holds her hand up to silence him.

 

“It’s alright.  You’re fine.  Can we just get the cake please?” Her tone is more commanding now, firmly annoyed.  

 

“Yes ma’am, right away.  Sorry.”

 

Kurapika, Pairo, and Gon are of Kurta heritage--an indigenous tribe of Japan--and are used to being viewed as ‘different’.  They’re even occasionally questioned about their ethnicity when they venture from their village.  However, this problem is far worse for Canary, whose appearance immediately reads as ‘foreigner’ to Japanese people.  Being of African descent, she’s often been the victim of condescending remarks such as: ‘your Japanese is great for a foreigner‘, and ‘wow, you’re so good at using chopsticks’.  Such remarks almost seem to bother her friends more than Canary herself--Kurapika is always instantly irked and ready to lash out in defense of her friend.

 

“One of these days, Canary, you should really just tell them to fuck off,” Kurapika says, glaring at the back of the waiter’s head as he rushes to get their food.

 

Canary chuckles lightly.  “It’s alright, I’m used to it.  They probably haven’t met many people like me before, so they’re surprised when they hear me talk.  Besides, I don’t care enough to start a heated discussion with everyone who says something a little rude sometimes.  Not everyone has a fiery temper like you, Kura-chan.”

 

“Kurapika sure hasn’t changed a bit, huh?  She’s still got the same hot head,” Pairo adds, smiling.

 

With a sigh, Kurapika exhales her remaining anger.  “I guess you’re right.”  She sips from her Moscow Mule.  “Anyway, how have you two been?  Up to anything fun lately?”

 

Kurapika rests her chin on her hand while Canary and Pairo share a look.  “I guess school and work keep our hands full.  There’s always something to be studying, right Canary?” says Pairo.

 

“That’s right!  Oh, we went to a couple museums and the arcade recently too.”

 

“How was that?” Kurapika asks, excited to hear about all Tokyo has to offer.  They catch up over drinks and food, laughing and joking together just like old times.  The pub provides a fun, friendly atmosphere as they eat delicious snacks and enjoy each other’s company.  Kurapika thinks as she looks at her friend’s smiling faces and Gon’s bright, loving expressions that she could get used to hanging out here.  When the cake arrives she’s blushing, and Gon is already loudly singing ‘Happy Birthday’ off pitch in her ear.  She doesn’t mind though, she’s missed this--she’s missed him.  

 

* * *

 

“That cake was really delicious.  Thank you for getting it for me, Gon,” Kurapika says as they reach his small apartment.  Stepping inside, she slips off her shoes as Gon sets her luggage down. Gon’s apartment is cute and cozy and… wait.  Is it really okay for her to stay with him?  “Oh, sorry,” she continues, remembering something important, “I meant to ask Canary if I could stay with her while I apartment hunt.  I guess with all the celebration today I forgot.”

 

“No, that’s alright.  I don’t think that would even be possible at this point.  Pairo moved in last month, so she doesn’t have any extra room.”

 

Kurapika’s jaw drops.  “Wait, really? … They moved in together?”  She folds her arms across her chest.  “But… she didn’t even tell me…  How did that end up happening?”   

 

Gon shrugs, then scratches his cheek.  “Well, Pairo started spending more and more time at Canary’s place, then at some point they figured it would just be easier to live together than pay rent for a place no one uses.”

 

“I see…” Kurapika says quietly, wondering what else has changed since they’ve been apart. She looks over at him to see him stretching and yawning.

 

“I don’t know about you,” he says, “but I’m exhausted.”

 

“Yeah, I’m ready for bed too.”

 

Gon grabs around her waist for a quick hug, then leads her towards his bedroom, hand on her lower back.  “Actually, do you want to take a shower first?”  he says lowly in her ear, making her blush.  They hadn’t seen each other in over a year, of course they wouldn’t go to bed without having some fun first.  

 

Kurapika nods, then heads towards the bathroom, saying, “I’ll be quick,” before disappearing inside.  

 

After they both rinsed off they started kissing, their touch electric and hot after so long apart.  When they’ve had their fill of each other, Kurapika’s wonders if she and Gon will end up like Canary and Pairo someday, growing closer as they experience Tokyo together.  She hopes they can catch up on all the time they missed together.  

 

* * *

 

When Kurapika wakes the empty space beside her makes her realize she’s overslept.  She checks her phone to see a text message.  

 

_I’ve gone to work!  I’ll be back around six.  If you go out, leave the key in the mailbox :)  See you soon._

 

She jumps out of bed resolving to get ready quick before she fully sees the mess of trash, half eaten instant noodles, and clothes strewn across the floor.  He nose wrinkles in disgust and she decides her first priority is to clean up the mess that is Gon’s apartment.

 

 _Ugh,_ she thinks as she picks up a pair of dirty boxer-briefs off the floor.   _How can he live like this?  Good thing I’m here to help him._

 

She does laundry, vacuums, dusts, and tidies up the place until her stomach growls in hunger.  In that moment she decides she wants to surprise her boyfriend with a home cooked meal.  

 

It’s six-thirty PM when Gon finally arrives.

 

“Welcome back,” Kurapika greets with a smile.

 

“Wow, it smells amazing in here!  Did you cook?” Gon asks, sniffing the air.

 

“Mmhmm, it’s beef stew.”

 

She hands Gon a bowl and they move to sit at the small table in the living room.  

 

“This is delicious Kurapika, thank you,” he says, and she smiles.  “So, how did the house hunting go today?”

 

Kurapika’s eyes widen as she freezes mid spoonful of soup.  She swallows, then says, “actually, I didn’t get to that today…”

 

“Oh, so you looked for a job instead?  What did you find?”

 

“Well, I didn’t get to that either…”

 

Gon nudges her elbow.  “Eh?  Don’t tell me you slept all day.  Although I guess you would be tired from all that traveling.”

 

Kurapika huffs.  Just how daft could this boy be?  “If you haven’t noticed, your apartment is spotless.  Now you don’t have to live in such a mess anymore.”

 

Gon furrows his brow.  “Kurapika… I thought you said you wanted to find a job and live on your own?  I thought you wanted a change to be more independent?  I can’t support us both right now, as much as I’d like to.”

 

“I know that,” Kurapika says harshly, “but why are you so ungrateful?  Don’t you realize I came all this way, and did all of this for you?”

 

Gon’s eyes flash with hurt, and Kurapika suddenly regrets snapping.  What he said is true, she does want a job, and she does want to be independent.  She suddenly has a bad feeling, as they fall into tense silence while they finish their meal.  Gon stands abruptly, taking his bowl to the sink.  

 

“Here, I’ll wash up,” Kurapika tries, following Gon towards the kitchen.  

 

“No.  I can do it myself, thanks,” Gon says, and Kurapika suddenly feels more distant than when they were living in separate cities.  

 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Gon says when he’s done cleaning, and Kurapika hears an exclamation of surprise when he opens the bathroom door.  “It really is super clean in here, much appreciated Kurapika!” and she smiles from the kitchen, knowing everything is back to normal again.  

 

* * *

 

“Do you have anything for under fifty-thousand yen?  I’d like to live around here if possible.” Kurapika points to a place on the map, around the neighborhood her friends live in.  

 

“Unfortunately, you won’t be able to find anything under seventy-thousand in this area.  Although it’s not downtown, it’s a convenient place to live so that’s why the rent is so high,” Mr. Mackernasey says, shaking his head.  They sit in the small real estate office, shuffling through papers.

 

“I suppose I could go a bit higher, but is there anyway to avoid the broker and security fees?  If I can get around those, then I’ll be able to have enough money for a few months.”

 

“Hmm…” the agent says as he shuffles through a few more papers.  “I do have one place, but it’ll be in an older building.  Is that alright with you?”

 

“I suppose, as long as it’s not too dirty or anything.”  He hands Kurapika the information paper to look at.

 

“Think about it this way… You’ll be able to renovate and change it to suit your liking.  Young people are into that sort of thing, right?”

 

“Really?  You can do that to a rented place?” Kurapika asks, starting to like this idea.  

 

“Lots of these landlords don’t mind stuff like that.  What do you think of that place?  It’s a little far from the station, but it’s near a river with a nice view.”

 

Kurapika took a look at the floor plan.  It’s a spacious two bedroom, for 70,000 yen and they allow pets.  “It’s quite cheap for a place that big, and I do like the idea of being able to renovate. Can we take a look at it?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“It really is hard to find a place as great as this, so consider yourself a lucky lady.”  Kurapika took in their new surroundings as they reached the vicinity of the apartment.  The river was a nice addition to their view with bright blue rushing water.  “Ah, there’s the place right there, in that brick building,” Mr. Mackernasey says as he points to a building nearby.  

 

As they step through the doors, Kurapika is already loving everything about it.  From the old western style of the building to the extravagant mural that decorates the hallway, it is simply perfect.  The only downside is that there are seven floors with no elevator, but Kurapika could easily look past that.  This small-town girl hurries up the flights excitedly to find out if the apartment is all it’s hyped up to be.

 

The old man follows more slowly, panting slightly when he finally catches up.  “It’s this one--707.  Let’s go inside, yeah?” Kurapika smiles and nods as he opens the door, but her eyes widen when she sees what--or rather who-- is inside.  “Oops, I guess I came at the wrong time,” Mr. Mackernasey says, sheepishly scratching his head as he sees the two people waiting inside.  “Do you mind if I show my client the apartment as well?” he asks the other real estate agent.

 

“Actually yes,” the man starts, “my customer here is practically sold on this apartment already…”

 

He is interrupted by Kurapika exclaiming “no way!” as she rushes towards the other client.  “You’re Chrollo aren’t you?  What a crazy coincidence this is!”

 

Chrollo blinks with her long eyelashes for a moment before saying, “and you are…?”  

 

Kurapika’s heart sinks, then fills with annoyance.   _Am I really so forgettable?  We talked for like five hours!_

 

Chrollo notices her narrowed eyes then laughs.  “Ah, kidding!  Sorry, sorry.  How’s it going Pika-chan?”

 

“So you do remember me!” Kurapika says, eyes softening.  

 

“For a second I didn’t.  You just look so different with these new clothes and your hair up like this.”

 

“Um, excuse me,” Chrollo’s real estate agent says, “are you two friends or something?”

 

“No, not really,” Chrollo says, and Kurapika stares at her.  “We just met on a train recently.”

 

“Ah, alright.  So do you want to rent the apartment, Miss Lucilfer?”

 

“I’m not sure yet…”

 

“In that case, do you mind if I let Miss Kurapika have a look around?” Mr. Mackernasey asks Chrollo, although the formality is useless as Kurapika is already showing herself around the entire place.  

 

“Wow, this view is gorgeous, the bedrooms are spacious, and there’s even a clawfoot bathtub!  I want it!”  She exclaims when she returns.  

 

“Hold on a minute!  I was here first, so I get first call.”  Chrollo interjects.

 

“That’s right, what do you think you’re doing?” her real estate agent chimes in.

 

“Oh… Is that so…”

 

“But your client said she was unsure,” Mr. Mackernasey says.

 

“Well, I’m sure now,”  Chrollo says firmly.  “I’ll take it.  Give me the application form.”  She holds her hand out expectantly as her agent hands her a paper.

 

She’s about to sign when Kurapika grabs the other end of the paper and her hand.  “Please, wait a minute!”

 

“Why should I?” Chrollo challenges, “I’m sick of staying in shitty motels.  I don’t care how the apartment looks at this point, I just need to move into a place fast.”

 

“If you don’t care, then go find another one!  I want this and only this!”  Kurapika snatches the paper out of her hands.

 

“You don’t even need this place, you can just live with that boyfriend of yours!” Chrollo is about to take the paper back when she sees the emotion in Kurapika’s eyes.  “What, did he dump you or something?”

 

“No!”  Kurapika snaps.  “But if things continue the way they’re going…”  She stops mid-sentence.  “Look.  I just need to live on my own, that’s all you need to know.”

 

“Aw, but why would he ever dump you?  Aren’t you two all happy and lovey-dovey?”

 

“Well yes, we are, but we had an agreement when I moved here and I intend…”

 

“A-hem,” Chrollo’s real estate agent interrupts, “shouldn’t we focus on more serious issues like what to do about this apartment?”

 

The two girls glare back at him simultaneously.  “Excuse me?” Kurapika says.

 

“More ‘serious’ issues?” Chrollo adds, stalking towards the man who interrupted them.  “You work with customers every day, yet you trivialize their conversations?  You should really have more compassion if you want to sell anything to us.”

 

“Ah… I--I’m sorry…” the man stutters.

 

“I have a suggestion, if you’d like to hear it,” Mr. Mackernasey says.  “To me it seems like you girls get along great, so why don’t you consider living here together?  There are two bedrooms, and this spacious area in between you could use as a dining room.  Living with a roommate can be really fun, and besides, your rent would be cut in half.”

 

Half the rent?!  The girls share a look.  “70,000 divided by 2… That’s only 35,000 yen!  So cheap!”  Kurapika exclaims.  “I’d be interested in that, if you’d like to, Chrollo.”

 

“Um, Miss Lucilfer, are you sure about this?”  the other real estate agent says quietly to Chrollo.  “This girl seems kind of crazy…”  

 

Chrollo shoots him a deadly look and cuts him off with her hand.  “I disagree.  You seem like a lonely man, Mr. Yokoi.  Why don’t you find a job more suited to your harsh personality.”  Yokoi practically sweat drops as Chrollo turns away from him.  “When can we move in?” she asks Mr. Mackernasey.  

 

“If we sign the paperwork today, I should be able to get the keys by tomorrow morning.”

 

“Excellent, let’s do that then.  I’d like to move in tomorrow afternoon.  What about you, Pika-chan?”

 

“I’d also like to move in tomorrow,” Kurapika says.  

 

“Then starting tomorrow we’ll be roomates, Pika-chan.”  Chrollo extends her hand towards Kurapika.  

 

Kurapika looked Chrollo in her dark, enchanting eyes then grasped her hand, her heart inexplicably warmed at the gesture.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 I hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment if you have thoughts or kudos if you liked it! I want to hear what you think!
> 
> **An Izakaya is a Japanese pub, known for 'all you can drink' for a certain amount of time. They're really fun.
> 
> **Asking someone if they want to take a shower is basically Japanese for 'let's have sex'. Japanese people ALWAYS shower right before sex--they're very hygienic about the whole thing. You'll see this many times in anime and throughout this fic.
> 
> **Next chapter will be back in time, so you'll see a bit of how Kurapika grew up and then how she and Gon ended up together. After that you'll see a bit of Chrollo's before we return to the present.
> 
> **so, Kurapika's last name?? I need one.. Not sure what to do for it since I definitely can't use Kurta here. Any suggestions are much appreciated.


	3. Kurapika

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika's backstory! Written in past tense, this time, because it's in the past. :)

_My first love was… well, if you could even call it that.  It wasn’t really love at all, despite the lies I told myself.  I wanted to keep the illusion that things would work out in the end._

 

_I was only seventeen, attending an all-girls high school.  So I guess I really didn’t know any better..._

 

“Alright everyone, here are your graded exams.” The teacher laid a stack of papers down on the table as the bell rang, signaling it was time for class to be over.  Students rushed to the front of the room, finding their name out of the cluster before exiting the room.  Kurapika grabbed the one with her name before leaving the room.  Leaning against the wall she flipped to the last page to see her score, jaw dropping as a big red letter “F” stared her in the face.  

 

“This… can’t be possible!”  She huffed, cheeks turning red as she angrily flipped through the pages again, glancing over her answers.  In her head she quickly reworked one of the problems marked incorrect, only to come up with the same answer.  “I don’t see what else it could be,” she muttered quietly to herself.  At that moment the one minute bell rang, and with a sigh she put the test away and went to her next class.

 

Failing a test was just about Kurapika’s worst nightmare.  She’d been a straight A student her entire life, never settling for anything less.  She never took a test without being 100 percent sure she’d ace it.  But this test marked the end of her perfect streak.  Her life was ruined.  Her parents would be disappointed and she won’t graduate top of her class and she won’t get into her top choice university and… she was mortified.  And pissed off.  She felt like she’d lost her future as she took her seat next to Canary, her rage clear on her face.

 

“Kura-chan, what happened to you?  You look like you could murder someone,” Canary whispered, pulling out her art supplies in preparation for the class.

 

“I failed my math test,” Kurapika muttered, “and I don’t know why.”

 

“You failed?!  But you never fail!  Did you not study?”

 

“Tch, of course I studied,” Kurapika huffed as she made short, anger filled brush strokes on her canvas.  “It just doesn’t make any sense, Ry-chan.  He didn’t write any explanation or feedback on my test.  Just a bunch of x’s and the letter F.”

 

“Quiet in the back please,” the teacher interjected, shooting a look in their direction.  “Some of us want to focus on our art here.”

 

“Sorry Sensei,” Kurapika sighed and after a moment Canary leaned over again, lowering her voice even quieter.  

 

“You have Dr. Morow, right?  I’ve heard he’s really hot.”

 

“What’s your point?”

 

“Why don’t you go talk to him about your grade?  You could probably work something out, and figure out where you went wrong.  Besides, any other girl in your class would kill to spend time alone with him.”  Canary winked at her, as she painted a mountain top with a mansion and giant three-headed dog.  

 

“What are you even painting?”  Kurapika eyed her canvas warily.

 

“I had a dream about this place.  I could see myself as a classy butler here,” she said, fine tuning the animal’s fur coat.

 

“You always paint the strangest things…” Kurapika mused, shaking her head.  Canary just shrugged and Kurapika continued her rant. “I’m just so sure I shouldn’t have failed.  I double checked my answers and couldn’t find a single error.  What if he rigged the test against me?  I wouldn’t put it past him… he’s always seemed kind of shifty anyway…  I’ll make him pay for it if he did. ”

 

Canary chuckled.  “You’re just feeling overwhelmed right now because you’ve never failed a test.  But lots of great people fail and go on to be successful anyway.  So what if you didn’t prepare well enough and messed up a test one time?  It’s not like you’re going to die.”

 

Kurapika shot her a sharp glare.  “I do not just ‘mess up’ on tests, Ry-chan. You wouldn’t get it anyway, you’re used to mediocre grades.”  Canary narrowed her eyes as Kurapika continued speaking at her artwork. “But you know what?  I think I will go talk to him.  I’m going to give that creep a piece of my mind.  I’m going to show him why I’m right and get the grade I deserve,” she said in determination.  

 

“That’s not really what I meant…”  Canary started but Kurapika was no longer listening and the teacher shushed them again.  

* * *

 

 

After school ended Kurapika stormed straight into Dr. Morow’s classroom, test in hand.  The teacher was lounging at his desk, his red hair just as bright as ever as he twiddled a pencil in his fingers.

 

“Hello Miss Kurapika, I’ve been expecting you.  How may I be of assistance?”

 

 _He’s been expecting me?!_  She took a breath to calm her nerves, shutting the door behind her.  The attractive teacher was now eyeing her in a strange way she’d never experienced before.  Clearing her throat, she tried to remember the spiel she’d had on her tongue moments ago.  “Yes, Dr. Morow, I was hoping to talk to you about the recent exam.”

 

“Ah yes.  It was a tough one, was it not?”  He winked at her and her cheeks flushed.  It was at this moment she realized his eyes were bright yellow-- no they were a goldish hue, piercing through her tough facade.  She cleared her throat again, but her head was still fuzzy.

 

“Actually, I--I wasn’t quite satisfied with my grade, and I wanted to figure out why I got some of these problems wrong.”

 

“Well, why don’t you come over here with your test and we’ll take a look,” he said, beckoning her over with a sly smile.  She nodded, then carefully made her way towards the desk, flipping her test open to the second page.  Dr. Morow leaned towards her shoulder, a bit too far into her personal space as he inspected the paper with her.  

 

The blush on Kurapika’s cheeks deepened.  “S--See this problem here, for example.  First I proved the base case, then moved onto induction and proved that this equation is the same as this one.”  She pointed to the equations on the sheet and Dr. Morow hummed in understanding.  “So where exactly did I go wrong?”  

 

The teacher put his hand on her arm.  “Hmm, let me take another look.”  He was so close as he scanned her work.  Yes, he was a very attractive man, but were teachers allowed to act like this with their students?  His thumb started stroking small circles on her arm. “I admit, this proof does look correct, Kurapika.” He looked up at her with another smirk, exposing his teeth and… was that his tongue?

 

“Um… Okay… Well what about this next problem?  Could you explain to me why it is marked incorrect?”

 

His hand was now on Kurapika’s upper back, and she couldn’t remember when it had gotten there.  “Ah,” he said lowly, “this is all correct as well.”  

 

Kurapika exhaled sharply, confused and frustrated.  “Dr. Morow…”

 

“You can call me Hisoka,” he told her.

 

“Hisoka,” she asserted, her frustration building.  She made herself meet his golden eyes, “if I got every problem right, then why did I fail this test?”   

 

He stood up suddenly, taking her by surprise, his hand now grazing her lower back.  “Tell you what, Kurapika.  I have an idea of how we can fix your little problem.”  He leaned in closer, and closer.

 

“What? I--” and then he pressed his lips against hers.  Her eyes widened as she felt the pressure of his hand on her back, just where her button up shirt met her plaid uniform skirt. He was pulling her against his chest, then his wet tongue entered her mouth.  And then, she finally understood that this is what he wanted; this is why he failed her.  Her heart was racing and she wondered if she should try to pull away, but froze in her tracks, trapped in his spell.  Her sexy young math teacher wanted to kiss her of all the students.  She couldn’t deny that she also had had one or two daydreams about him, (it wasn’t like her all-girls school had many options in the way of men) but she never could have imagined that Dr. Hisoka Morow would go for a plain high school girl like herself, let alone by purposely failing her exam.  Kurapika slowly let her eyelids flutter shut and leaned into this moment; her first kiss--her head full of both thrill and fear.

 

Breaking the kiss, Hisoka brought a hand up to her face, looking back into her wide-eyed stare.  “You’re blushing, how adorable.”  He kissed her on the forehead.  “You are a very smart girl, Kurapika, and I’m sure you want your grades to reflect that, is that right?”  Kurapika just nodded numbly.  “Perfect.  Just keep coming to see me after school, and I’ll make sure you have the top grades in the class.”

 

“Uh, okay, Dr. Hisoka…” he escorted her by the waist towards the door.  

 

“I have no doubt you’ll ripen up into a powerful woman, little fruit,” he added with a ruffle to her hair.  His choice of words made Kurapika both slightly cringe and blush simultaneously.  What the hell is he talking about?

 

She exited the room, trying to reorient herself through the hallway as she mulled over the events that just transpired.  It was then that her least favorite classmate, rival, and school persecutor decided to walk past.  

 

“Woah Kurapika, what happened to you?  Your face looks like a tomato!” the girl exclaimed, pointing and bending over with loud laughter.

 

Kurapika shot her the fiercest glare she could manage.  “That’s none of your business, Aimi.”    

 

“With your fake blonde hair you look like a clown! Hahaha!” And Kurapika was pushed over the edge.  She rushed Aimi, grabbing her by the shirt and pinning her against the lockers.  

 

“My hair is _not_ fake,” she hissed.  

 

Aimi feigned innocence with her stare for a moment, keeping her cool.  She then grew a mischievous smile.  “Ooooh, you just came from Dr. Morow’s room, didn’t you?  I heard you failed our test in that class.  What, he didn’t give you the grade you wanted after you cried to him?  I guess being dumb just sucks, huh?”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Kurapika said, and her flurry of heated emotions took control as she punched Aimi in the face.  As Aimi cried out in pain, Kurapika realized that she’d just assaulted one of her classmates--an offense that could get her expelled.  Fuck, this was bad.  Eyes widening in regret and fear, she let go of Aimi and darted down the hallway, ignoring her threats to tell Dr. Morow what she’d done.  

 

* * *

 

Kurapika found herself caught in an extremely precarious situation at that point.  After much contemplation, she decided that her last hope was to take Hisoka up on his offer and go to see him after school the next day.

 

“Hello again, Kurapika.  I’ve heard from Miss Aimi that you’ve got quite the temper lately.”

 

Kurapika flushed and looked away, unable to say anything but, “I didn’t mean to get so upset at her, but she was insulting me and my intelligence…”

 

Hisoka suddenly appeared next to her, stroking her hair.  “Assault requires disciplinary action, which I’m sure you’re aware of.”

 

Kurapika looked up to Hisoka’s handsome face, knowing what she had to do.  She slid her hands up his arms.  “I’m aware, but… I’m terribly sorry... Is there anything I can do to keep my academic standing?“

 

“Perhaps.  I do like the feisty ones...” he said, licking his lips.  Kurapika reached up and pulled him into a kiss.  There was no turning back now.

 

* * *

 

And so Kurapika’s ‘relationship’ with Dr. Hisoka Morow went on as such.  What started as an attempt to give the man a ‘piece of her mind’ turned into meeting occasionally after school to hook up.  At first their meetings were a means to an end; a way to get good grades and stay on the school’s good side.  But as time passed she began to grow attached to the teacher, even gaining a superiority complex knowing that the most sought after man in school was ‘hers’, in a sense.  It was a thrilling, secret experience, paying off when Hisoka delivered on his promises.  

 

But it was only ever just that.  This being her first intimate encounter with a man, she assumed this is what love was, even though they only ever met in secret.  The fact that their relationship only consisted of occasional seductive favors and sweet talking all seemed fine to her until one day, it ended without notice.  

 

“You’re going to Tokyo?”

 

“Yes.  I’ll be leaving next week.”  

 

“For a business trip?” Kurapika asked with pleading eyes.  

 

“... No.”  Kurapika’s heart began to sink.  “I got a job as a research professor at a university.” He ruffled Kurapika’s hair.  “It’ll be lonely, not being able to see Kura-chan anymore, but it can’t be helped.”  Despite his words, his eyes were absent of regretful emotion.  

 

Kurapika took a few steps backward and put her head down, trying to hide her feelings behind her blonde bangs.  “I see.”   _Why is it that we’ve never once met outside of school…  Or been on a date…_

 

“It’s been fun.  Thank you.”  Hisoka took a sip of his drink as Kurapika fought back emotion she didn’t know she had in her.  After all it was silly, to think that anything would come from a relationship like this.  She gave Hisoka a final nod, then walked as quickly out of the classroom as she could.  It was over.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until the day before her high school graduation that her feelings caught up with her.  She and Canary were alone in the girl’s bathroom, and for whatever reason, her tears chose that moment to show up.  Canary was doing her lipstick in the mirror when she heard Kurapika’s sniffles.  She turned towards Kurapika, eyes full of concern.

 

“Oh my God, are you crying?  What’s wrong Kura-chan?!”

 

“Tss nothing… It’s stupid… I shouldn’t be crying,” she said, wiping a wet streak off her face.  Her thoughts were stuck on that man, the one who left her for Tokyo, and his handsome face and suggestive smiles.  

 

“Tell me what happened, Kurapika.  You’re not getting all sad to be leaving high school, are you?”

 

“No, it’s not that… I… I just miss him…” she sniffled again. “Was it all just lies, Ry-chan?”  

 

“Oh, Kura-chan.”  Canary touched her shoulder awkwardly.  “This is why I tried to tell you to give it up with him.  These older men in suits just see high school girls as short skirted and easy.”

 

“Easy?!  I am not…”  

 

“I know, it doesn’t feel like you are, but to him you were just a cute easy target.  He was just playing with you, you know.  You can do better.”  

 

“But, but I thought we had something…  And he just up and left like it was never anything at all!” Kurapika turned into Canary’s shoulder.  

 

“I know, Kura-chan, I know.” Canary rubbed her back soothingly.   “He was just another creepy teacher who wanted to taste the forbidden fruit of his pretty student.” She chuckled lightly.  “We probably could have gotten him fired you know, if you hadn’t needed his help when you assaulted that girl.”

 

Kurapika just cried more heavily.  She felt so stupid.  Canary continued her lecture.  “Although I don’t blame him for wanting to go to Tokyo.  I’d like to go to school there too someday…”

 

“Ry-chan!  Don’t say things like that!  You can’t leave me too…  At least take me with you!”

 

Canary chuckled again.  “Alright Kura-chan, I’ll take you.”

 

* * *

 

After high school Kurapika swore she’d never fall for a man that was more than five years older than her.  She’d like to meet a nice guy her own age for once, and then have a normal relationship free from secrecy and lies.  She enrolled in a small, close-to-home, two-year art school with Canary.  Wanting both to figure out what she wanted to do with her life and to meet new friends.

 

As they walked into their first class Kurapika locked eyes with a spiky-haired boy who wore the brightest smile she’d ever seen.  And suddenly, he started walking towards them, making her heart race.   _He wants to talk to me??_ Blushing, she looked away, for a moment, until he walked right past her to Canary.  

 

“Oh my god!  Canary!  I thought I’d never see you again,” he said.   _Wait, he knows Canary?_  Kurapika turned to them with wide eyes.

 

Canary squinted her eyes.  “No way, is that you, Gon?  You look so different now!”

 

“Yep, it’s me!  Oh, and I have a friend from high school with me too!  I’ll introduce you.”

 

A nice looking boy with brown hair and brown eyes walked towards them.  “Hi, I’m Pairo,” he said, smiling.

 

“Hey Pairo! I’m Canary, and this girl here is my friend from high school.  I think you and her will get along great, Gon, because she’s also got a knack for finding trouble.”  

 

Kurapika narrowed her eyes at Canary but Gon’s introduction stopped her from quipping back.

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Gon Freecs.”  He stuck out his hand for Kurapika to shake.  

 

“Kurapika,” she said, and mustered a small smile in return to his big one.  

 

“This one gets into trouble?  But she looks so sweet!”  Canary laughed and Kurapika tried to put on her least angry face.  Gon was cute, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that day Kurapika and Canary were lounging around their dorm, each on their laptops.  The apartment-style dorms were spacious for the art school, each of the girls having their own room.  There was a kitchen and living room area as well.

 

“So, Gon’s pretty cute eh?” Canary said, nudging Kurapika’s elbow.   

 

“I guess he’s physically good looking.  Why, do you have a crush on him?” Kurapika asked.

 

“Me?!” Canary pointed to herself incredulously.  “No way.  Not my type.  But I saw the way you looked at him and blushed.”

 

“I did not--” Kurapika was interrupted when Canary’s phone rang.  Canary flashed her a look then a mischievous smile when she answered.  

 

“Oh, hey there Gon, how’s it going?”  Kurapika closed her computer and stared at Canary.  “Yeah, I’m free, just at home with Kurapika.”  She winked in Kurapika’s direction.  “Sure, you guys can come over.”  Canary hung up the phone and Kurapika’s jaw dropped.  

 

“Ry-chan!” Kurapika exclaimed.  

 

“What?” she said, giggling.  “This will be good for you, Kura-chan.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Not a half an hour later and the boys arrived, Gon and Pairo holding bags full of beer and snacks to share.  A drinking game commenced too quickly, and with a head swim of alcohol Kurapika found herself far more relaxed than she’d been in a long time.  

 

“I really don’t believe that Kurapika is a trouble-maker like you say, Canary,” Pairo spoke in between rounds.  

 

“It’s true, this one looks innocent but she’s got a rough side.”  

 

“Hey, well at least I’m not a bossy loudmouth like you!” Kurapika perked up to defend herself.  The boys laughed and Canary stuck her tongue out.

 

“Ah, I see it now, she’s got a temper,” Gon mused, his volume loud.  He was clearly getting tipsy as well.  “In high school I made a name for myself when I went after someone who bullied my friend Kite.  Have you ever been in a fight, Kurapika?”

 

“Oh yeah, tons,” she said, bringing her arm up and flexing comically.  “They call me Chain Fist,” she mimicked a punch in Gon’s direction and he burst out laughing.  

 

“Chain fist! Hahahaha!  You know, I was always called rock-paper-scissors man, because no one can handle these cut rocks.”  He pointed to his flexed arm muscles and wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Kurapika groaned, “that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” but couldn’t help herself from chuckling anyway at his enthusiasm.  

 

“You’re a terrible flirt, Gon,” Canary teased from across the table, and Kurapika froze.  Was this what flirting was?  Gon was flirting with her?  

 

Gon, however, rolled with Canary’s comment effortlessly.  “It’s still working though,” he winked at Kurapika, confirming her suspicions.  Blushing, she hid her face behind her hair as the group conversation continued, the implications of what it meant to be flirting whirring in her brain.  Gon did seem nice, and he was her age, but… she wasn’t sure if she was ready for something romantic to start again.  

 

At some point during the night Canary and Pairo disappeared with the pretense of getting more drinks.  Kurapika had the feeling they weren’t about to come back anytime soon.  She was left awkwardly on the couch next to Gon, not knowing what to do.

 

“You guys have a really nice place here,”  Gon said.  

 

“Oh thank you, we like to decorate sometimes.”

 

Gon got up to look around.  “These flowers are gorgeous!  Did you grow them yourself?”  Kurapika nodded.  “That’s amazing.”  He made his way over towards their bookshelf.  “Woah, you got your old high school yearbook?  I never bought one.  Can I take a look?” he asked, holding up the large book.  

 

“Uhm, sure.”  He joined Kurapika on the couch again.  Kurapika helped him find the picture of her face, then Canary’s.  

 

“Adorable,” he said as soon as he saw Kurapika’s picture, earning another shy blush, then he began to flip through the rest of the pages, stopping when he got to the faculty.  “Hey, who’s this guy?  He looks too young to be a teacher, and he’s got crazy red hair.  Did you ever have him?”

 

Kurapika leaned over to see what he was talking about, completely unprepared for the drunken emotion that followed.  There was a picture of Hisoka, his yellow eyes and bright hair just as piercing as she remembered.  Her breath caught and she felt the need to escape, to be alone.  

 

“No,”  she said curtly.  She shook her head then leapt from the couch, coming to an abrupt stand.  

 

“Hey is everything okay?” Gon reached up to touch her arm and she pulled it away fiercely.  ‘I didn’t mean to upset you--”

 

“I’m fine,” she almost shut off completely when she looked down into Gon’s eyes and saw nothing but earnest sincerity and concern for her.  Softening, she said, “sorry, I’m just tired.  I had a lot of classes today.”  

 

“Oh, I understand completely,” Gon said, nodding, “I should get going to bed now too anyway.  But before I go, could I get your number?”  he asked her, his hopeful brown eyes the cutest thing Kurapika ever saw.  It was then she realized that Gon was nothing like Hisoka.  

 

With a smile, she told him her number and they hugged goodnight.  Canary didn’t return until the next morning.

 

* * *

 

_How’d it go with Kurapika?  It’s so easy to tell you’re crushing big time. :P_

 

Gon read the text from Canary while walking between classes.  He typed a response too quickly, almost running into a pole when he forgot to watch where he was going.

 

_She is really cute and sweet, but I think I messed up.  She got really weird when we were looking at her yearbook and closed off.  I don’t think she likes me._

 

_She’s just like that sometimes, but don’t give up!  You should call her and ask her out on a date.  I think she likes you more than she lets on.  She said you were cute!_

 

Gon’s face lit up at that text, ecstatic to find out Kurapika thought he was cute.  He’d keep going for it then, and decided to call her later in the day.  

 

Kurapika received a confusing text from Canary later that day.  

 

_Say yes to Gon.  He’s a great guy, I swear._

 

Furrowing her brow she typed three question marks in reply, but as she was about to hit send her phone rang.   _Gon._  She quickly learned the meaning of Canary’s text when she was asked to dinner and movie for Friday night.  Thinking, what was the harm?  She decided to agree.

 

Throughout the date Gon kept her laughing, entertaining her with silly jokes and funny stories.  She admired his optimistic attitude and ambitious goals, but most of all she admired his sweetness and genuine care for others.  It was hard to believe that such a kind hearted soul walked the earth.  With a goodnight kiss their relationship began, both of them infatuated, believing they had something special.  

 

* * *

 

“What do you want to do with your life, Kura-chan?” Gon asked one night they spent together.  

 

What a big, vague question that was.  “In what sense?”

 

“I mean, do you really love art?”  

 

Ah.  Kurapika flipped over to look at her boyfriend.  “I’m not sure yet.  I’m still young, so I’m exploring my options right now.  What about you?”

 

Gon’s eyes filled with that adorable determined look.  “I want to be a professional artist.”  Kurapika thought Gon definitely had the talent for it.  “So that’s why I’m going to apply to a prestigious art school in Tokyo.”

 

Kurapika’s brain stopped working for a moment.  “You… what?”

 

“Canary and Pairo have expressed similar interest, so I think we’re going to apply to the same school.”

 

She grabbed Gon’s shoulder.  “No, no you can’t.  I mean… I…”  She was overwhelmed with Deja Vu.

 

“Come with me, Kura-chan,” he said, smiling.  Kurapika opened her mouth to protest that Gon was not allowed to leave her when his words registered, and she softened into a beaming smile.

 

“Okay~” she said, and Gon pulled her into a warm hug.    

 

* * *

 

Of course, things always sound better when you’re planning.  Due to financial and logistical problems, Kurapika ended up having to wait a year before she was able to join her friends, but she never once gave up, the reward of finally getting on the train worth every moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Did i mention there was hisopika? I probably forgot... well, now you know that there's also some hisopika here in this crazy fic. 
> 
> Next chapter we have Chrollo's backstory! then back to the present for more drama-filled fun. 
> 
> Speaking of our dear Chrollie she's in a rock band in this fic called Spider, and she needs some songs to sing! If you have any suggestions for songs you'd wanna see our fem!Chrollo sing or even bands that you think would fit her comment them! If I find it fitting I'll put it in! Right now I was thinking to do Metric songs, so if you love/hate Metric/have better ideas let me know. She starts singing next chapter so I'll definitely be putting a song or two in there! If you have any other thoughts or feelings please feel free to comment or you can even hit me up on tumblr-- @sweetpotatosayrah or my new hxh sideblog @ninja-ninj
> 
> Thank you for reading! Have a great day :)


	4. Chrollo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first -- i'm back. after forever and a half. im so sorry, my depression came back full swing so i had a really really hard time writing or doing anything
> 
> second -- if you're reading my other fic 'all we know of heaven all we need of hell' i'm also so sorry.... look. i'm really, really trying to get that chapter 8 done but there's a hell of a lot of plot kinks to figure out and they're really tough so i'm doing my best. i haven't abandoned it though, don't worry, I will be back... hopefully soon
> 
> third -- this also took me so long to write because it's long and hella heavy on main characters and plot-relevant points. also my first time writing Chrollo POV so that was fun. 
> 
> fourth--I know, trust me I know, better than anyone, that I'm putting a lot of characters in places and friendships they have no place being in. It's tagged it as slight crack for a reason. 
> 
> fifth-- please enjoy !

_I don’t know where I was born.  I don’t remember what my mother looks like.  I don’t know who my father is. I was brought to this town when I was three, and worked with my grandmother in a small restaurant.  My life was filled with harsh words and tough times. Today, I work to support myself, and pick up the pieces of my broken dream._

 

“Good evening! We’re Spider!”

 

“And a 1, 2, 3, 4!”

 

“ _Black sheep, come home, Oh yeah! black sheep, come home_ , _Ohh yeeaah???_ ”

 

The crowd, filled with local die-hard Spider fans, cheered loudly as Leorio started to play the guitar, the sound of heavy chords filling the room.  They’d be playing the crowd favorites tonight at this gig. Chrollo was wearing red thigh high boots, a black tight fitting dress, and a leather jacket, which she threw behind her when the stage lights warmed her up.  The audience got louder at that, excited in anticipation of her silky voice.

 

“ _Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when_ ,”  Another heavy strum echoed through the room as Chrollo’s sang, her piercing gaze sending the audience into more cheers.  She shook her head back and forth as her long dark hair flew around her face. Spider had become somewhat of a big deal in this small town--the fans were attracted to the band’s punk fashion and intense beats.  

 

She looked seductively to the side towards Feitan and continued to sing.  “ _Our common goal was waiting for the world to end_.”  Feitan gave her a look back as he leaned into another heavy strum.  The audience loved watching the band and their interesting performance dynamics.  Chrollo was by far the most popular though, her voice was unique and unquestionably resonating, and people were impressed that she managed to sing so perfectly while moving around as much as she did.  

 

“ _Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend!_ ”  With Hanzo hitting the drums, the music was building even more in volume and intensity.  As she sang out she winked at one fan who was reaching up to her, and couldn’t help but crack a bit of a smile through her teeth as the fan covered her mouth and started screaming.  Leorio and Feitan started moving all over the stage while they strummed their instruments. The compositions Feitan wrote were made to show off the guitar and bass, hitting heavy and loud.  

 

“ _You crack the whip, shapeshift and trick the past again_ ,”  Chrollo’s voice crescendoed upwards, leading into the chorus.  

 

“ _I’ll send you my love on a wire_.”  At this point she started to dance, moving her hips back and forth and playing with her mic stand.  The crowd was really starting to go wild now, feeding off of the energy in the room. As they started to jump up and down the room started shaking, and it only made the band play harder, encouraging the chaotic dancing.  A rush took over Chrollo, the kind that made her feel like she was soaring.

 

“ _Lift you up everytime_ ,” She strutted, and looked down again to see everyone’s eyes locked on her, watching her move and sing without a care.  She soaked up the attention and energy like a sponge, loving the powerful feeling that came with being able to captivate every person in the room.  It was times like these that she really felt alive. Like she had a purpose in life.

 

“ _Everyone ooh, pulls away ooh, from you_ ,”  Chrollo and her band were talented, excellent performers, and she couldn’t wait until they made it big together.  The rockstar life of her dreams felt as if it waited just around the corner.

 

* * *

 

After the show, Chrollo started to reach for a cigarette as they headed out into the brisk, cold air.  As soon as she and her band opened the door they were pleasantly bombarded with a crowd of fans vying for their attentions.

 

“Feitan!”

 

“Leorio!” The fans cheered and called out to them, eager to meet the band themselves.

 

“No way, I can’t believe they waited outside in this shitty weather,” Chrollo mused to her bandmates, though at her appearance the majority of fans rushed straight to her, some jumping up and down with excitement.  

 

“Chrollo! That live performance was fantastic!” Someone called out to her.  

 

“Thank you,” Chrollo said, flashing her charming smile in their direction.  

 

“Chrollo-saaan!” One small girl with blonde hair cheered above the rest, shoving her way to the front.  She held a large box in her hands up to Chrollo. “Here, this present is for you!”

 

Chrollo held the box into her hand, her eyes widening when she read the label.  “Vivienne Westwood..? Are you sure, Retz-chan?”

 

Retz closed her eyes and smiled sweetly, for a moment, then her face suddenly lit up and her eyes flew open, revealing two striking teal irises.  “Oh my goodness, you remember my name?!” she squealed.

 

The other fans looked on with jealousy at the attention Retz was getting.  Chrollo ruffled her hair and she blushed. “Of course I remember you, because you never fail to come to our shows.”

 

Retz, the adorable girl with a passion for all things Spider never failed to brighten Chrollo’s day.  “It was your birthday last week, right Chrollo-san? This is your birthday present, happy 18th birthday!”

 

This girl knew so much, almost too much. Still, though Chrollo had no idea how she knew her birthday, she wasn’t complaining.  Vivienne Westwood was her favorite designer, after all. She leaned down toward Retz and pecked a kiss on her lips. “Thank you, Retz-chan.”  

 

As soon as she pulled away Retz covered her mouth in surprise, then squealed in pure joy.  Chrollo and her bandmates headed out then, fan gifts in tow, lighting their cigarettes as they walked away.  They could hear the commotion she caused behind them, a mixture of phrases like ‘oh my God’ and ‘you’re so lucky, Retz!”.  Feitan shot her an amused look and then chuckled.

 

“Keep that up,” he said, “and they’re going to think you’re actually into girls.”

 

Chrollo smirked and shrugged at him.  “So what if they do? Let them think what they want about me.  If anything, I’ll just get more popular.” Feitan raised his eyebrows.  “What, don’t tell me you’d get jealous,” she taunted.

 

Feitan playfully narrowed his eyes as he moved closer and wrapped an arm around her waist.  “Yeah, right. You and I both know you’re mine.”

 

Chrollo rolled her eyes but leaned into his touch anyway.  If there was one thing that characterized their relationship, it would be that they were both confidently possessive of each other.  Chrollo always knew that neither of them would run off.

 

* * *

 

Chrollo’s grandmother had always been absurdly strict with her.  Her mother gave birth to her, not knowing who the father was, then dropped her off at her grandmother’s house when she was three years old and ran off with another man.  Her grandmother never failed to remind her how much she disapproved of her daughter’s lifestyle, so much that Chrollo was never allowed to paint her nails or wear pink or red, lest she follow in her mother’s footsteps.  Grandmother would not be having ‘another slut in the family’, as she put it.

 

When people tell you something enough times, you start to believe it.  And raising a child, especially, is like brainwashing. Until children are old enough to think for themselves they believe whatever you tell them.   So it followed that Chrollo always believed she was nothing more than a burden to her mother, who must have been a terrible person. Her grandmother constantly insisted that men wouldn’t be able to control themselves around her if she dressed the way other girls did.  

 

Still though, she found herself envious of girls who could wear fashionable clothing, and go out at night.  Shortly before her grandmother passed away she walked by a store that had a striking red dress, the flourescent lights of the store made it seem to glow brightly against the white of the winter snow.  She stopped to admire it, thinking of how fun it would be to try it on, and take it home. If she used her money from the restaurant her grandmother would know, but perhaps there was another way to take it home with her.  She entered the store, grateful for the big bag she brought with her. A distraction and a swift movement later, and she was running through the snow with the dress tucked into her bag. Her grandmother would never know of her pathetic Christmas present to herself.  

 

Her grandmother passed away a year later, when she was sixteen, and she was left alone.  The next winter she would finally get the chance to wear that frilly red dress she’d stolen for herself, when Leorio invited her to a concert and promised to introduce her to the handsome bassist of the band playing that night.  

 

“He’s two years older than us-- my senpai from middle school.  He’s way cool! I bet you’ll fall for him right away. The ladies are all over him.”  

 

Chrollo and Leorio walked side-by-side smoking their cigarettes on the way to the show.  She’d unbuttoned her coat, exposing her new outfit, her long hair blowing in the breeze behind her.  Leorio wore a beanie and plaid scarf. “That’s okay,” Chrollo said, playing off coolly, “I’m only here because I have nothing better to do tonight.”  

 

“No, see, you need a guy who can handle you.  Just wait. When you talk to Feitan, you’ll see how mature and cool he is for yourself.”  Chrollo glanced at Leorio through the corner of her eye as he continued to talk. “I guess you experience a lot of hardship growing up at the orphanage.  When Feitan was a baby he was found in a warehouse by the dock. I think it even made the news.”

 

“Leorio, isn’t that a little personal for you to be telling me?”  

 

“Actually, Feitan’s proud of it.”

 

“What?  He is?”

 

“Oh, totally.  Whenever the subject of him being found comes up, he’s like, ‘yeah, that was me, I still live in that warehouse’.  He’s thankful for his scandalous background.”

 

“The hell?  That’s stupid.”  Chrollo shook her head and put out her cigarette as they walked into the venue and took their seats.  This guy was just using his pitiful past to gain sympathy and attention.

 

“No way, it’s awesome!” Leorio said with a grin.  “Just trust me, you’re going to love him.” The overhead lights suddenly dimmed then as all attention was turned towards the stage.  A band came out, but Chrollo’s eyes were drawn to one man who wore a leather jacket and studded choker, and she watched as he began to strum the bass.  It was that moment that Chrollo found herself unable to tear her eyes away from that man. The concert proceeded and she was fixed in that spot until it was over.  A flurry of emotions filled her that night-- envy, jealousy, desire, impatience… she might have even said heartthrob, towards both Feitan and the life he lived. She wanted it.  

 

When she was finally shaking Feitan’s hand, she couldn’t stop her blushing face.  

 

“See?  I told you you would like him.”  Leorio teased her.

 

* * *

 

Feitan asked Leorio to join his new band one summer day while playing cards with Hanzo.  He agreed and Feitan demanded that Leorio find a pretty, talented girl for the vocals.

 

There was a knock at the door then.  “Oh, Chrollo’s here,” Leorio said. Against the odds, it just so happened that Chrollo stepped in to drop off an album Leorio lent to her, and her eyes met once again with Feitan.  In that moment, time stopped moving as her gaze fixed on him once again.

 

“Leorio,” Hanzo said.  “Have you two ever been to karaoke together?”

 

“Umm, yeah, we went one time, right?”

 

Chrollo nodded, confused at the sudden question.  

 

Feitan interjected.  “Was she any good?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Yeah, she was pretty good!” Leorio said as Chrollo blanched.

 

‘Well, I’ll be off now,” she said, before hurrying out of the room.  Odds were, Feitan didn’t even remember her, and she had no reason to change that.  

 

She felt a tug on her arm, just before she stepped outside.  

 

“Join our band, Chrollo.”  Feitan had her in his grasp as his eyes bore into her.  She turned to him, and that was when she felt the hope, that maybe this could be the one thing that would work out. And so, she agreed.

 

Every day of practice she got better and better, and fell more and more in love.  Not only with Feitan, but with singing. She sang only for herself, and no one else.  

 

Chrollo grew to appreciate Feitan.  Something about him was familiar, their sharp edges and minds of darkness matched each other.  They started officially dating one night after a show. Feitan had cupcakes with him, and insisted she try one.  As soon as she went to grab one he said, “actually, I bet it’s poisoned. I got it from a fan. It’s a ‘stay away from me or die, bitch’ cupcake.”

 

Chrollo chuckled once and then picked up a cupcake and shoved it in Feitan’s face.  “Then die, bitch!” she teased.

 

Feitan looked offended by the icing that covered his face, then quickly grew a smirk and got his revenge.  With icing smeared all over their faces they laughed as they continued shoving cupcakes at each other.

 

“Guess we’re both just going to have to die then,” Chrollo said, swiping her finger across Feitan’s face to get a glob of frosting.  She licked her finger and smirked.

 

“I’m alright with that.”  Feitan grabbed her roughly by the wrist and pulled her into a kiss that tasted like gooey frosting.  They smiled between their lips and the moment Chrollo closed her eyes she knew she wanted him. “We’ll die together,” he said, and she didn’t mind the sound of that at all.

 

* * *

 

After Chrollo’s stunt with Retz the crew made their way into a cozy pub for some after-show drinks.  

 

“To Spider!” Leorio cheered, and the group clinked their drinks together.  

 

“Here’s to another great performance,” said Hanzo.

 

They each took a sip of their beverages, drawing attention from the other people at the restaurant.  Chrollo shuffled through her things, deciding to open the gift from Retz now.

 

“Wow, a new jacket!  It’s the real deal too, I wonder how much it must have cost her.  I’m so touched.” Chrollo held her new designer jacket against her chest and smiled before slipping it around her shoulders.  The snug red jacket contrasted with her long, dark hair, and the black velvet heart over the bust was both cute and fashion forward.  This avant-garde style was exactly the type of thing she liked, something her grandmother would have never let her wear.

 

“Ahh,” Leorio sighed, “this girl is too lucky.  My life would be complete if even one girl looked at me the way her fans look at her.”  His expression turned happily dazed, daydreaming about women again.

 

Chrollo pulled out a cigarette, lazily holding it between her lips.  She glanced at Leorio out of the corner of her eye. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you with a girlfriend, Leorio,” she said, and he blinked, shook out of his daze.  

 

Feitan interjected before Leorio could speak.  “That’s because he always goes for girls way out of his league.”

 

Hanzo laughed, and Leorio narrowed his eyes.  “Oh? Is that so?” Chrollo quipped before Leorio had a chance to say anything, cracking a smile.  “Then, what kind of girl is your type?”

 

“I’ll have you know, Feitan,” Leorio said, pointing a finger in his direction, “that the ladies can’t get enough of this,” he said deadpan as he made a gesture around his face and then down his body.  The group laughed again, because his appearance tonight was really quite outlandish. He wore a blue and red plaid blazer with matching pants, and a white tee accessorized with black spiked choker and spiked bracelets.  His short hair was sticking out in all directions, and his tiny glasses seemed to contrast his heavily pierced ears and rosy cheeks. “Another round please, bartender!” he called, then took a drag of his cigarette before speaking again.  “Now, to answer your question… I guess I’d have to say my ultimate type is blondes.” Chrollo raised her eyebrows. “Ah, but-- I also love brunettes!” Leorio added quickly, as if trying not to offend her. “Dark hair, light hair, blue eyes, brown eyes… At this point I guess I’m not very picky.” He sighed.  “It really has been so long...”

 

The group laughed as Leorio was again lost in a daze.  Or maybe he was just drunk. Either way it didn’t stop him from calling the bartender for another round of drinks.  

 

“Leorio, you’d better stop,” Chrollo chided.  “You have graduation tomorrow, remember?”

 

Leorio chuckled.  “Yes mother,” he made a drunken gesture with his hands. “Graduation!” He was apparently too out of it to say anything else.

 

Chrollo rolled her eyes at his idiocy as Feitan spoke up.  “What about your graduation, Chrollo?”

 

“I dropped out, duh!” She shoved his shoulder playfully.

 

“Well I haven’t graduated either!” Feitan said, grinning.  

 

“Then quit acting so proud of it.” Chrollo crossed her arms over her chest, and Hanzo laughed.  

 

Leorio narrowed his eyes at Hanzo.  “Why are you laughing?”

 

Hanzo, pushed up his sunglasses that he never seemed to take off, even at night.  “It’s just too bad, I wanted to see Chrollo in her school uniform.”

 

Leorio waved his hand dismissively.  “Trust me, you don’t. She looked scary-- I’ve seen it myself.”

 

Feitan tapped his chin.  “Yeah… I can imagine it.”

 

Feitan chuckled as Chrollo’s jaw dropped.  “Liar!” she yelled at Leorio. “Don’t trust him Hanzo, he’s on his bullshit tonight.  He should be grateful I made friends with him at all.”

 

Leorio took a moment, then smiled.  “Thass true, Chrollo,” he slurred, “I’m glad you talked to me.”

 

“He’s so drunk,” Chrollo muttered quietly, shaking her head.  Hanzo just laughed even louder at the group’s banter.

 

When they left the Izakaya, Leorio was stumbling like a lanky Jack Sparrow.  He took a deep breath and shot his fist up into the air, cheering, “Spider foreeevveeerrr!” before he fell face first into the snow.

 

“Well, he’s out.” Feitan said.  “Should we leave him?”

 

Chrollo shook her head, Feitan could be very indifferent at times, to the point where it almost seemed sadistic.  “I think he’ll die.”

 

“He’ll definitely die,” Hanzo sighed.  He made his way over and helped Leorio stand back up.  “I’ll get him a cab.”

 

Hanzo was always there to take care of people in need.  He was a good one to keep around. Chrollo smiled and thanked him as she and Feitan began to walk away.  

 

“Wait-- Feitan,” Hanzo said.  Feitan and Chrollo both turned around.  “I’ll talk to Leorio about that thing. You talk to Chrollo, okay?”

 

“What thing?” Chrollo asked, latching onto Feitan’s arm expectantly.  

 

“Oh, just…” he paused for a moment as his eyes flickered back to Hanzo and Leorio.  “It’s the story of how Hanzo became bald.”

 

Chrollo had a feeling that wasn’t what Hanzo was talking about, but let it slide with a small smile.  She trusted Feitan would tell her. Hanzo shot a glare back in their direction but they were already off, walking swiftly to get out of the cold.  He only hoped Feitan would bring it up sooner than later-- it would be best for Chrollo.

 

The two lovebirds ran through the snow together, eager to get back to their apartment.  They’d been living together for over a year now in a small place. Because they both didn’t have family obligations or school of any sorts, it only made sense to share rent and save money by moving in together.

 

When they reached the apartment the first thing they did was hop in the bath.  Bathing together had become a nightly ritual for them, they washed each other and talked about everything from the band to their plans for the future.

 

“Hey, Fei?”  Chrollo lay back against his chest as the warm water enveloped them.  For some reason, she was feeling extra sentimental that night. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

 

“Ah, of course.  You wore that red dress.”  He took a drag from his cigarette then tapped off the ash on the outside of the tub.  “And I was still playing bass for that other band.”

 

“Mm.  Remarkable that you can remember exactly what I was wearing.”  Feitan combed through her hair with his fingers.

 

“But you were a real ice queen back then.  You just stood by the wall and glared at me all night.  When you introduced yourself you only said your name and that’s it.”  

 

“Ah… that’s… well, I had a lot on my mind at the time.”  Chrollo took Feitan’s cigarette from his hands and inhaled a drag.  

 

“Like how you didn’t know if you should quit school if people found out you were a prostitute.”

 

Chrollo’s eyes bulged and she grabbed the lock around his neck.  “You know you’re the one who took my virginity, asshole. Those rumors were obnoxious.  Just because I wasn’t in any school clubs.”

 

Feitan chuckled.  “But, you didn’t deny them--!”

 

Chrollo sighed and turned around to face him.  “I didn’t think those people deserved my attention.  Although, I can’t help but wonder if it contributed to my grandmother’s death.  Allegations of her granddaughter being a prostitute was always her worst nightmare.”  

 

“Wait a second…” Feitan tapped his chin then raised his eyebrow.  “Didn’t she ‘accidentally’ fall down the stairs?”

 

That earned him a shove.  “Oh my God, Fei. I didn’t actually kill her.  She just chose a bad place to trip is all.”

 

Feitan chuckled.  “Right, sure. If you say so, babe.”  

 

Chrollo groaned.  It almost felt as if he was excited by the prospect of her killing someone.  How did she end up with a guy this fucked up? Oh, right. Because she wanted him.  She sighed. “It didn’t help when I told her I was dropping out of high school either.  I think I really shook her up.”

 

“Why did you drop out of high school?  I don’t think you ever really told me the reason.  It isn’t like you aren’t smart enough to finish.”

 

She sat up, her dark eyes coming forward to meet Feitan.  He thought to himself then, that he was really going to miss those eyes.  “I-- I guess I don’t really think about it much anymore.” Her voice was quiet, almost regretful.  “I didn’t feel like there was any point to finishing. My classes were too boring and easy. I would finish everything faster than the other students, and I couldn’t be bothered to show up to class anymore.  But besides all that, the main reason was…” With a soft smile she took Feitan’s hand and stroked it lightly. “When you asked me to join the band with you, I was finally able to discover what I really wanted to do.  I never wanted to do the whole college and desk-job thing anyway, but you helped uncover my true passion. I want to sing, perform, and pursue a career in music. And that’s all thanks to you.”

 

Feitan paused for a moment and swallowed.  

 

“I have no doubt you’ll make it big someday,” he said softly, dejectedly.  Chrollo wasn’t usually the one for overly emotional or sweet moments, and hearing her talk like this nearly felt like a knife being pushed into his heart.  She valued him, more than anyone else she knew. Moments like this revealed the true depth of her feelings, and the trust she’s gained in Feitan. He took a shaky breath.  This whole ordeal was going to be much more difficult than he thought. At a loss for words, he pulled Chrollo towards him by the loop on her choker that she never took off.  He captured the gasp from her lips with a deep kiss as an urgency he hadn’t known he had took over him.

 

Feitan was rough in bed.  It was overbearing and tough on her body at times, though it was nothing she couldn’t handle.  Bondage, choking, biting, scratching-- he was into all of it. He was dominant, and she liked that.  He’d gotten her into all sorts of kinks she didn’t know she had. Although tonight was different, as if there was another side of him that revealed itself.  Tonight was full of light strokes of his hands and gentle, soft kisses. The air between them felt tenser, filled with a deeper, stronger connection than usual.  Chrollo couldn’t help but wonder what brought on this change.

 

When they finished, they found themselves scattered across the bed, covered with only their bedsheet.  Chrollo laid on her stomach as Feitan sitting up beside her, smoking a cigarette. The heat in their small apartment was too strong, but Chrollo knew that the second she turned it off they’d be freezing again.  Suddenly, Chrollo perks her head up.

 

“Feitan,” she started.

 

“Hmm?” he wore a pensive expression as he exhaled his drag, then brushed his long hair out of his eyes to turn his attention to her.

 

“What was Hanzo going on about after the show?  He seemed all serious.”

 

Feitan hid the pain that hit his heart again behind a blank expression.  He’d have to tell her soon, but not just yet. He wanted to enjoy this time he had by her side.  “What, you think anything that baldie says is serious?” He deflected her question.

 

“Whatever, I’ll just ask him myself,” she said, before sitting up with a gasp.  “Ah, I need to take my medicine today!”

 

Feitan smiled slyly.  “Junkie..” he said lowly, teasing her.

 

However, she wasn’t having it.  “Fuck you. I meant my birth control!  What if I had forgotten to take it? God knows I _cannot_ afford to get pregnant.  What the hell would happen if we had a kid, Feitan?”  She shook her head at how nonchalant he seemed. Pregnancy was, considering her situation with her own mother, a bit of a sensitive subject for Chrollo.

 

Feitan shrugged.  “We’d raise it. I’ve got a few gigs going, so I wouldn’t mind having a kid or two.  I’ve got the money for it.”

 

Chrollo pulled her robe over her body, clicking her teeth with dismay at Feitan’s words as she retrieved her birth control.  “You may be okay with it,” she said cooly, “but I’m not. I don’t want a child right now. Not when we could be performing together.  You’ll have to find some other woman if you want children.”

 

Chrollo made her way back over to the mattress and sat next to Feitan, who was silent.  The spider tattoo she and all her band members shared seemed to glint in the low light of the room, and the padlock she’d put around his neck when they started dating contrasted against his pale skin.  Only she had the key to unlock it.

 

Feitan roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, and she gasped as he flipped her on her back and climbed on top of her.

 

“Chrollo….” he said, and it sounded just a little bit off, in the way he’s been acting all night.

 

After a few moments of eye contact filled with dejection and confusion he spoke again.  “I’m moving to Tokyo, so you can live however you want now.”

 

And that’s when she finally realized the cause of the emotion that was building behind his wistful eyes and gentle touches.  It struck deep inside her, a churning mix of hurt and bitterness and confusion twisting her lungs and making it hard to breathe.  Her mind raced to quantify the emotions she was feeling into one word she would never truly be able to let go.

 

Betrayal.  

 

This life, the one they had made together.   It wasn’t enough for him? Their apartment, Spider, their talks, their baths, the kisses they’d shared.  It wasn’t… ..?

 

She didn’t understand.  She didn’t want to. Their relationship wasn’t like that.  There was no point in holding onto something that was already gone.  She waited to speak until she was sure her voice would hold steady and cold.  “When do you leave?”

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

On the beach, the cold air ruffled through Hanzo and Leorio’s hair and blew away their cigarette smoke immediately after it materialized from their lips.  

 

“What’s this about?  Why is Feitan moving to Tokyo?  Are you going to quit college, too?”  Leorio had concern written all over his face as too many questions tumbled out of him at once.

 

Another drag and a sigh before Hanzo spoke again.  “No. It’s just Feitan. Back in the day when it was just Feitan and I in the band, we always hung out with another band called Syndicate.”

 

“... Syndicate?”  Leorio mumbled the familiar word as he tried to recall one of their songs he’d heard on the radio.  “Oh! That one band with the weird techno songs and the pretty girl vocalist, right?”

 

“Yeah.  We used to go drinking together, and we got along great.  But two years ago they got a record contract with a major label and all moved to Tokyo, and now they’re about to make a major debut album.”

 

“Awesome!  Good for them,”  Leorio said.

 

Hanzo continued.  “Unfortunately for them though, their guitarist wasn’t happy about the debut and left the band.  So they wanted Feitan to join them as the new guitarist. This morning, Feitan left for Tokyo to work out the details, and he brought along a recording of him playing guitar.  When he called me about it, I knew he’d gotten the job by the excitement in his voice.” Leorio’s face then turned from concern to something confused, sharper, and angrier.

 

“Wait a second.  First of all, Feitan plays bass, not guitar, so I don’t understand why he’d want to be a guitarist.  Secondly, what the hell is going to happen to Spider? And… and what about Chrollo? Does she know about this?”  Leorio felt himself getting more heated by the second. He couldn’t believe this was the first time he was hearing about this.  “Third, why the hell didn’t Feitan tell to me about this?”

 

“Leorio,” Hanzo warned.  “Calm down.”

 

“No. I won’t calm down.  Didn’t we just start making a name for ourselves around this town?  We all worked so hard, especially Chrollo, just to get on stage again.  I can’t believe Feitan would just walk away from all of that now…” Leorio found himself clenching his fist tensely.  Why on earth was Hanzo being so calm about this?

 

“The band will be fine.  There are lots of bassists around this town, so I’m sure we’ll find one in no time.”  

 

“Even if that’s true, I’m still upset.  It feels like it’s betrayal, or something.  I don’t understand why you’re not angry too.”

 

Hanzo took the final drag of his cigarette and threw it roughly to the ground.  “Do you really think Feitan had a future here? Struggling in this dead town?”

 

The words stung Leorio, but he persisted.  “Then why don’t we go to Tokyo as a band and try to make it?”

 

Hanzo shot a sharp look in return, before taking another drag, as if he was going to say something quickly but then thought the better of it.  “Sorry,” he said, resigned. “I don’t think the band is a good way to make money, and it’s foolish to think otherwise.” Leorio balled up his fist, more fired up than before but Hanzo kept talking.  “Even if we go, Feitan’s not going to change his mind. He’ll still play bass for Syndicate.”

 

“How can you say that?!” The volume of Leorio’s voice spiked.  

 

“It’s not like we have producers lined up, ready to take us on if we move to Tokyo.  In order to make a big debut you have to have a perfect storm of luck and talent.” Leorio clenched his jaw, his mouth pressing into a tight line.  “Feitan didn’t want this to happen, but it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up, you know?”

 

Leorio’s mouth softened slightly as the words sank in.  If he were in Feitan’s shoes, would he have accepted? A part of him wanted to believe that his loyalty to Spider trumped all, but the other half of him was ready to take any offer that meant fame and money.  

 

Hanzo spoke again in wake of Leorio’s silence.  “Syndicate has killer talent, thanks to their bassist.  You’ve heard it, you know how good they are, so don’t try to stop Fei from chasing his dream.”  

 

“But…” Leorio started, “What is going to happen to Chrollo?  Is Fei going to dump her? Or is she going to go with him? Those two are like, inseparable, and I always felt like they’d be together forever, so this is just.  Really shocking.”

 

Hanzo shrugged, shuffling his feet in the sand.  “Shocking as it may be, you know Chrollo. She’s mature and independent.  If she wants to go with him, she will.” Leorio continued to stare at Hanzo in disbelief.  It felt a bit like things were about to fall apart. “Though, if Chrollo does decide to go, I think that’d be the end of Spider.”  Leorio’s eyes widened. Well that… That was not a possibility he was going to consider. “I’d leave the band too at that point, and keep the good memories.”

 

Leorio felt like he couldn’t speak.  The matching tattoos they’d gotten were meant to be a sign of loyalty and trust to each other.  When all of them, save for Hanzo, came from rough childhoods and poverty, they shared a dream. Feitan leaving was not only a threat to the band, but to every second of friendship and goals they’d worked so hard to make for themselves.  It meant the death of the only future Leorio prepared for. A wave of bitterness set into him then, and all he could do was push the cigarette butt he’d tossed in the sand from side to side with his feet as both dread and anger took control of his mind.  

 

“So, Leorio,” Hanzo said after a moment, noticing his distress, “If you want to keep Spider going, you better hurry and find a new bassist.”

 

Leorio looked back up at Hanzo from his feet.  A new bassist then… perhaps there was hope after all.  He just nodded, feeling both determined and overwhelmed.

* * *

 

The next day scissors cut Chrollo’s long tresses, as she decided it was time for a change in style.  Feitan was in the past now, and she’d always made a point to keep the past where it belonged: behind her.  She didn’t bother to send him any parting messages. She didn’t see any point to it.

 

Her afternoon shift at the bookstore passed roughly the same as always, and she did her best to quell the lingering feelings of betrayal that if left unchecked would slowly driver her mad.  She engrossed herself in a novel when the store grew empty, until she heard the familiar ding of the door signaling a customer had entered.

 

“Hi, welcome to--” she started, then stopped mid sentence and narrowed her eyes.  “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked the boy dangling a big piece of paper in front of her.  

 

“Just showing off my new diploma,” Leorio quipped with a wide grin.  “Jealous?” His jaw dropped after a second though. “Ah! You cut your hair!”

 

Chrollo sighed.  “Damn it Leorio, I was just in the middle of reading a good book, too.” She wedged her bookmark in between the pages and pushed back her chair.  “I guess I’d rather see you than deal with a customer right now, though.”

 

“So you and Feitan broke up then, huh,” Leorio said, coming closer to inspect her new look.  “Don’t girls usually cut their hair after they get dumped?”

 

Narrowing her eyes, Chrollo scoffed then laced her fingers in her lap to keep on her facade of composure.  “So you heard then, about Feitan leaving for Tokyo.” She flipped her new short hair, noting the way it barely grazed her shoulder and flew behind her with ease.  “I didn’t try to stop him. Though I bet he’ll be lonely without me.”

 

“Well, that’s for certain.” Leorio ran a hand through his spiky hair, somewhat relieved that Chrollo was in front of him now, even if it meant her relationship was over. Though he can’t imagine what she was actually going through, so he felt guilt at his relief.  He took a breath. “I’m sorry. I half thought you’d go with him though, leave me and Hanzo in the dust.”

 

Chrollo stood up and walked to the opposite side of Leorio, resting her hands on his shoulders.  “No way. If I’m going to go to Tokyo, it will never be to play house with Feitan as he performs without me.”

 

Leorio felt an even stronger twinge of guilt at that, but couldn’t stop himself from the question that left his lips next.  “So, you’ll go to Tokyo for yourself then? For Spider?”

 

Her face twisted in confusion.  “What do you mean?”

 

“I want to go to Tokyo with you.  We can find a new bassist there and then find a record label to sign us.  You can even live with Feitan again.”

 

With shock and a stab of pain, her lips pushed down into a frown.  “Leorio, what are you saying? We can’t… we don’t… have enough money or talent to do that.  Do you even know how hard it is to make it as a pro? Are you that naive?”

 

His blind hope would be the death of her.  “I’m not naive!” His voice grew louder-- classic Leorio style.  “I really believe in Spider, don’t you? I believe your voice is special, and there’s no way your talents won’t be recognized.  I don’t think it will be easy, but I think it’s worth a try. I know we can make it if we work really hard. As cheesy as this sounds I don’t want to play guitar for any other singer but you, and I know Hanzo feels the same.  He said he’d give up music for good if you left the band.”

 

The look in Leorio’s eyes filled Chrollo with anguish, and the tears she didn’t shed when Feitan left threatened to fall as Leorio pulled her into a friendly, comforting embrace.  “I... “ she choked out, voice breaking. “I don’t want to see Feitan. I don’t want to live with him again.” A flurry of words she couldn’t say out loud rushed through her head. _Traitor.  Asshole. He betrayed us.  He left us. He didn’t care about us._  Leorio patted her back as tears ran silently down her cheeks and onto his shirt.  

 

“You don’t have to see Feitan again and you don’t have to do anything for him.  Let’s go to Tokyo for ourselves.”

 

Chrollo sniffed a few times then pulled away from Leorio’s arms when she was able to regain control and composure.  She mulled over the idea, staying silent as she returned to her desk to sit while Leorio watched her with concern and patience.  Slowly, she looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah, alright,” she said finally. “I’d be willing to go to Tokyo with you. Not now though, I need to save up a bit more.”

 

Leorio’s concern melted into the widest grin Chrollo’s ever seen on his face, and that’s saying something.  His eyes filled with hope, enough to make Chrollo return a soft smile.

 

A year later she booked her ticket, for the date of her twentieth birthday.  Leorio assured her he’d follow soon after, though his date wasn’t set yet. As for Hanzo, well, they couldn’t exactly convince him to come right away--something about a ‘college education’--and the best answer they got from him was a solid maybe.  Chrollo didn’t care so much though, she’d find a way to make it, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Spider sings here is Black Sheep by Metric (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World). I completely based it off of this one minute clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwCuEc_y0-k and it's exactly how I imagine Chrollo would sing and act while performing. (I know Brie Larson looks like Misa from Death Note here but bear with it lol)
> 
> In my time away from writing vigorously I had a lot of time to think about this story and it's going to turn in very, very angsty directions really soon that will branch very far off from the plot of Nana. Next chapter will be back in the present. 
> 
> Also, if you haven't seen Nana, literally every character is a chain smoker save for Kurapika and the lead singer of Syndicate, who will be introduced soon. That's why they're always smoking haha, i don't encourage it. 
> 
> If you guys think I'm bluffing about all the ships I put up in the tags, I assure you, I am not. They will all show up at some point.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading. Please leave a comment, I want to know what you think! <3 I hope you all are doing great. :)


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